If you were gay
by Silentlamb
Summary: Something strange has erupted within The Castle that Never Was. People are breaking character and singing! Love songs, Disney songs, songs that question people's sexual orientation! And why is Demyx behind it all? Bizarre!
1. If you were gay

**If you were gay**

**_A/N: Oh come on. You all must of seen this coming eventually. I'm in a frisky mood anyway. :D My blatant lack of updates is making me feel guilty._**

**Warning:** Tried to make old Mansex (and any other character involved for that matter) as IN character as possible. But its quite near Impossible... especially with the song used. :D

**Warning Number two:** After finally completing it, I would just like to say that... as soon as hysteria joined in to the story, all dignity and pride that was the Organization flew out the window and didn't manage to survive longer then 15 minutes. So... yeah. Mild OOC.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. That's job is done by Square Enix and Disney. I don't own the Song, "If You were Gay" either. That's being done by Avenue Q.**

_Original Summary: Demyx was telling Xemnas about this guy he met... 'I think he was coming ON to me!' Dear old Mansex is a bit uncomfy with the conversation. So the Organization decides to let him know... Its OKAY if he's gay! Now with awkward mansax ending!_

**If you were Gay... **

Xemnas laid back in his recliner that he had sneaked into his office sometime last week. Of course, he was supposed to be researching, doing paperwork, reviewing reports, trying to recreate KINGDOM HEARTS!! But even evil one-track-minded guys who occasionally wear zebra print needs a break sometimes, right?

So, here we are-- Mr. Mansex himself relaxing to a book. "Ah..." He sighed in content. "An afternoon (Morning? Evening? Late night? Who knows anymore in the world-that-never-was, on the floor-that-didn't-wish-to-be, in the office-with-some-relation-to-the-lacking-of-the-verb-'to be'?) alone with my favorite book... Evil plots of the 1820's." He stretched out, before breathing, "No irritating lower-rank nobodies to bother me... how could non-existence get any better then this?"

Xemnas should know by now never to say that (Especially when I'm writing :P). The door-that-never-could opened and shut into the wall-that-refused-to-is (No, that is not a typo, BTW). "Oh, Hi, Superior!"

Xemnas sighed into his The Book-that-hates-it-here-too. (Okay, I'll stop with the joke... for now :3) "Hello, Number IX..."

"Xemnas, you'll never GUESS what happened to me on that world you sent me to earlier today."

Xemnas deadpanned. "First of all, refer to me as 'superior', Demyx, and second of all, unless it has something to do with KINGDOM HEARTS!! I couldn't care less." He tried to go back to his book.

But Demyx didn't hear him. "This one guy... he was smiling at me... and talking to me..."

"HmmMmn... that's VERY interesting." Xemnas said, trying to ignore him.

Demyx let out a guffaw. "He was being REEEAL friendly... and... I think he was comin' on to me! I think HE may have thought I was gay..."

(If you'd like... imagine who YOU believe was that guy. For shipping war reasons, I'm not allowed to answer that question.)

Xemnas almost ripped The Book-that-hates-it-here-too in half. He coughed to try and compose himself. "Ahem... so, uh, w- why are you telling me this? Hmm? Why should I care? I don't care. Anything else you have to tell me? What did you have for lunch today?"

Demyx stared for a long time at Xemnas, who started to sweat (non-existantly of course... I have no idea if nobodies have normal bodily functions.) from uncomfort. "Well... you don't have to get all defensive about--"

"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!" Xemnas snapped/roared (pick one), but, to prevent any further accusations, he tried to compose himself and eased out of the conversation by stating, "Why would I care about some gay guy you met, number IX, I am TRYING... to read." And thus began to read again from the Book-that-hates-it-here-too.

Demyx didn't take the hint, and tried to make sure the superior didn't hate him. "Oh, I didn't mean anything about it, Superior. Ya know... I think its something _we_ should be able to talk about..."

Xemnas sighed heavily. "Yes, but I do not want to talk about it Demyx-- this conversation is over."

"Well, yeah, but Superior--"

"OVER!"

Demyx skooched over a little so to avoid any nothingness blasts at his forehead-of-non-existence or his chest-of-what-could've-held-a-heart, and told him much like an understanding counselor would say, "Well... okay. But, _just so you know_..." And BURST into song...

"**If you were GAY**."

This time Xemnas really did rip The Book-that-says-what-a-world-I-still-hate-you-though in half, and did a death glare, but Demyx had already summoned his Sitar; it was all over.

"**That'd be OK... well, cause HEY! (ha)**" Demyx ha'd, before continuing. "**I'd like you annnnyyyway! Well, cause you SEE! If it were MEEEEE, I'd feel FREE. TO. SAY! That I was gay, But I. Not. Gay**." He began to dance as well, speaking the last couple of fragments with a shake of the finger in a pouty face at Xemnas' completely disgusted one.

Xemnas' eyebrow twitched, as he tried to boot Demyx by saying, "Number IX, please. I am TRYING to read..."

Then Marluxia stuck his head in through the door-that-never-could and said, "Hello, superior, I was just--"

Then, with the awkward and unexplainable power that is Demyx, Marluxia began to sing as well.

Xemnas stared the fore-mentioned narrative. "WHAT?"

"**If you were QUEER.**" Marluxia sung.

"GAH, not you too!"

"**I'd still be HEEERE!**"

"That's not even in CHARACTER!"

Then Xigbar popped in, witnessed and laughed for approximately 30 seconds, before was completely succumbed by whatever the hell Demyx was doing to join in. "**YEAR after YEAR!**"

"Number TWO?!"

Luxord walked in, the biggest drunken grin on his face, a bottle of whiskey in his hand, and just passed out, right there in front of the door, but the singing nobodies took no notice, and continued to hoopla, and pulling the can-can, singing: "**Because you're DEAR. TO. MEEE!**"

Xemnas felt his sanity pull short. He grabbed his cranium, and screamed, "GAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!" while Larxene, Xaldin, and Vexen, who wanted to know what the hell was causing all the commotion, but got caught up in the hypnotic tune that Demyx was playing.

They took their gloved index fingers and pointed at poor Xemnas, screaming/singing, "**And I know that YOUUUUU,**" Pointed back at themselves, "**would accept me TOOOOO!**"

"I WOULD?!" Xemnas tried to question. He wasn't even accepting them straight. (That is... if they ARE. -stares pointedly at Marluxia-)

Axel, with the loyal accompaniment of Roxas, strolled in, Axel asking, "Yo, what's this I hear about someone being gay and someone else being okay with it?"

And BAM! That was it. Axel was singing-zombified. However, for some reason, Roxas was unaffected, and was appalled and shocked, backing up and slumping against the wall-that-refused-to-is.

"**If I told YOU TODAY, 'Hey, guess what, I'm GAY!'**" They all sung in chorus. But then Demyx did a floor slide in front of them with a solo from his sitar and did the sub-line. "**But I'm. Not. GAY!**" The hypnotized nobodies, on cue, waggling their fingers at Xemnas, who chose to join Roxas, gaping at the crazy in front of him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Elsewhere in the castle, Saix, with his awesome keen senses, had an ear twitch at a loud sound. He wasn't really paying attention to what was happening in that part of the castle, but when a loud high-pitched, evil... evil sound (Axel's singing) rose to his ears, he had to find out what it was. He wasn't sure what was going on, but what he DID hear was the word "Gay." Shouted at a very inappropriate volume.

A investigation must be conducted, he concluded. Coming from the Superiors office, it either was a very awkward joke or someone was confessing their gay love for Xemnas. (Like hell Larxene would be confessing ANY type of love to any (no) body anytime soon.)

Saix must find out whatever the hell it is and kill it. As Axel would say (not really, but I feel like he should) "Kill it! Kill it with FIRE!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eye twitching, Roxas traumatized beside him, the 6 organization members singing their absolute best at him (which in Axel's case meant screaming), saying it would be completely OKAY if he were to come out of the closet anytime soon.

"**I'm HAPPY!**" Xigbar sung at the top of his lungs.

"**Just being with YOUUU...!!**" Larxene finished.

"Happy place... happy place..." Xemnas heard Roxas mutter.

"**So, what does it matter to me, what you do in bed with GUYS!**" Xaldin did his solo, and at that word, to emphasize it, the rest of the guys (Larxene slightly participated as well) did the infamous crotch grab, with a mighty "**UMF!**" in unison.

Roxas fainted.

Xemnas was even more disgusted. "People, that is WRONG!"

"**No, its not!**" Demyx argued, then, with another strum of his sitar, sung above everyone. "**If you were gaaaay, I'd shout--!**"

"**HOORAY!**" The rest finished.

"I'm not listening! Oh for the love of nothing!" Xemnas clamped his hands over his ears in futile attempt to ignore.

"**AND here I'd STAAAY!**" Two group stomps on the floor, first right, then left.

"La la la la..."

"**But I wouldn't get IN YOUR WAAY!**"

"**You can count on MEEE!**" Vexen shouted.

"**TO Always BEEE!**" Marluxia yelled.

"**Beside you EVERY. DAY**!" Xaldin and Larxene sung in chorus, then made way for Demyx's big finish.

"**To tell you IT'S OKAY! You were just BORN that way! And as they say, it's in your DNA, YOU'RE GAAAAAAAAAAAAY!**"

Then everyone joined in, screaming, as if trying to beat each other in a volume contest, "**YOU'RE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!**"

Xemnas had quite enough. "**I AM NOT GAY!!**"

But Demyx had this huge grin on his face, one that said, 'I may not have had sex with you, but boy, that was satisfying.', and rebutted with a "**If you WERE gay!**"

"GAAAAH!"

Xemnas scrambled with the door-that-never-could, and tried to make it out of there, but slammed faces with Saix, who was wondering what the hell was going on. Behind him was Lexaeus and Zexion, who never actually participate in these events, but come by later to see the damage, and here they are now. But I'm getting off-topic.

Saix got a mouth full of Mansex, and Mansex got a mouthful of Saix. (which sounds like Sex, but I'll stop being perverted now) Xemnas wasn't expecting it and fell forward, Saix fell backward, in a make-out session no one was expecting, not even the one's involved. But when this happened, the trance that Demyx had set on these people, wore off, and Roxas and Luxord regained consciousness. They had no memory of what just happened, but they just knew what was happening NOW.

But what took the cake was Demyx's cheeky remark.

"If you WERE gay? Superior... you ARE gay... and I'm OKAY WITH THAT!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**Ah hahahahaha... Aw... hilarious. Well... it was for me anyway. Another technical song-fic, but not really at the same time. If dear old Mansex is in denial or everyone just loves making fun of him, that's just fine too. No, I don't hate Axel, in case you were thinking. I just think that... if anything-- he would be a HORRIBLE singer.**_

_**In case you were wondering why I placed all those emphasis worlds and caplocked to the extreme, it was because it was supposed to be a version of lip-synching with the song. It all works out in my head, anyway. (search the song on youtube and play it while reading the bold... you'll see what I mean) **_

_**I reeeally wanna do another one of these, but I need another song, and a victim. Be my muse? Who do I get to drive to insanity next? (I'm actually thinking, if there are no takers, of "Kiss the girl" from Little Mermaid between... hmm... Marluxia and Vexen? Maybe.)**_

_**Please no pointless flames. Critique would be fine and dandy, but it was all in harmless fun if I offended any of you. **_

_**As always,**_

_**Alena Rio **_


	2. Just gotta KISS the girl!

_**Motivation hasn't been around ever since Perfect Opportunity. Speaking of which, you guys who read that thing, I lied, it won't be around for a while. However, on a good note, it'll be like 10 pages before I submit a chapter, or chapters.** _

**Warning:**_ High dosage of crack delivered to you by the cunning although confusing hypnotism that Demyx seems to control. Be warned._

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor do I own the Little Mermaid, of which the song was derived. Forgive me._

**Chapter Two: Ya just gotta kiss the girl**

Vexen was staring sooo close at a beaker, his eyes were practically touching it. The final mixing of the two liquids were so crucial, and so reactive, that if too much was added, and mixed in to the product... who KNOWS what might happen.

Vexen's eyes narrowed, his tongue stuck out in ultimate concentration. Carefully this must be done. CAREFULLY. The beaker was halfway tilted... a third of the way tilted...

Now halfway tilted again. He chickened out, but he was trying again.

Two thirds...

A single small line of liquid made its way to the edge... AND...

"Hello there, Vexy."

"GAAH!"

BOOOOOM!

A large mushroom cloud erupted, exploding the glass, and knocking Vexen over. Luckily, it wasn't big enough to cause anymore damage then to throughly blacken and slightly singe Vexen's face and hair.

Breathing like some deranged animal, he growled, "5th... beaker... this WEEK..."

"Ohh... I'm sorry Vexen, am I coming in at a bad time?"

The blonde whipped around to face the a liiiittle too light for red-head.

"ANY time you come in here is a bad time. LEAVE! NOW!"

"But I just wanted to see how you were doing, Vexy..." Marluxia was acting in a flirty... playful, all too calm way, KNOWING it really really pissed off the scientist in front of him.

While one-sided arguing was taking place, Demyx decided to pop in secretly, dragging in along with him, Xaldin, Axel, and Larxene. He had taken his hypnosis into account early today, knowing very well that Marly would come down to the basement-who-mourns-the-loss-of-the-book-that-hates-it-here-too just to irritate Vexen and possibly cause some dangerous explosions.

Everyone hid behind a large box of chemicals or some kind of other storage device that was laying around in large amounts around the lab. Then, in a quiet voice, Demyx cued everyone.

"Okay... **Percussion**," Demyx pointed at Axel, who summoned his Chakrams, small bursts of flame creating the beat, "**Strings...**" He summoned his own sitar, and casually strummed them, "**Wind!**" Xaldin summoned his lances, the weapons making a delightful harmonious sound, "**Words...**" And the song officially began, Demyx singing softly to the room that had just recently quieted to silent triumph contentment, and low grumbling and seething.

"**There... you see her...**" Demyx sang, in a low enough volume to make anyone think its all in their head, "**Sitting there across the way...**"

Marluxia raised his eyebrows and looked around, digging his little finger into his ear.

Demyx stuck his head out again from hiding and continued, "**She don't got a lot to say, but there's something abooout herrr...**"

Vexen heard it too. Wiping off his face of soot and other grime that could have possibly been created from that explosion, asked, "Uhh... do you hear something?"

Marluxia shrugged.

"**And you don't know why... but you're DYING to try, you wanna-- KISS the girl...**" Demyx gave the biggest grin, before hiding his head out of sight when both Vexen and Marluxia looked around in wonder.

"Are you sure you don't..."

"I DO... but, what's this girl they're talking about?" Then Marluxia turned and gave Vexen a curious stare, "Unless theres something you'd like to tell me..."

"I BEG your pardon?!"

"**Yes... you want her... look at her, you know you do...**" The two heard this line and and freaked, tipping over themselves, not wanting to look at each other.

"Is this song coming from YOU?!"

"Yes, because I DEFINITELY have a radio in here." Vexen snarled sarcastically.

"Vexen... are you playing for the same team?" Marluxia asked.

"I should ask YOU the same question!"

"**It's possible she wants you too-- there's one way to ask her...**"

Larxene echoed him, "**assk heerr...**"

"..." Both didn't want to know the answer to that question.

"**It don't TAKE a word, not a single word, go on and... KISS the girl...**"

Then came on Larxene, the back-up singer, "**Kiss the girl...**"

Then, with a big grin, Demyx said, half-kinda singing, "**Sing with me now...**"

Together Demyx and Larxene appeared out from the boxes they were hiding behind, singing into two microphones in their hands, they did a slide across the floor. "**Sha la la la la la!**"

"**My oh my!**"

"**Look at the boy too shy-- He ain't gonna kiss the girl!**"

Both looked at the two-- Marluxia was more horrified then the other. "LARXENE??!"

Vexen tried to make a break for it, but Axel took a break from making music to barricade the door with fire... and everyone who's ever played Pokemon knows that ice is weak against fire... and for that matter, plants, so it works in both ways.

When Axel got back into the beat, Demyx and Larxene both sang louder, "**Sha la la la la la!**"

"**Ain't that sad?**"

"**Ain't it a shame-- too bad, you're gonna MISS the girl...**"

"Both of us are MEN in case you haven't noticed!" Vexen shouted.

The singers and musicians took no notice of the confused nobodies. There was a music solo, then Larxene did hers, staring more towards Marluxia then Vexen in this part, "**NOW'S your moment...**"

"...the hell, Larxene?"

"**Nyah na na...**" Demyx cooed on queue.

"**Floating in a blue lagoon...**"

"What?"

"**Nyah na naaaa...**"

"Number IX, stop this madness!" Vexen tried to stop them himself.

"**But you better do it soon... no time would be Bettaaaah...**"

Then Axel and Demyx started to alternate the 'na's'

"**Nyah!**"

"**Nyah!**"

"**Nyaa...**"

"**Nyaa...**"

"**Naaaa...!**"

"Get OUT of here! Stop burning my door! Give respect to your elders, and PLEASE! STOP this! This is SO weird!"

Axel just swung back and forth to the beat, a stupid smile on his face from the hypnotism.

"Number XI! DO something!"

"What the hell do you expect me to do?!"

Of course, this really isn't romantic, especially if the couple in question is just confused and angry, so Demyx took this precaution, and got Xigbar into it as well. Using his power over gravity (or is it space? Same-difference...), he portaled into the room at around this point in the song, and, used space to push the two together, and held them there in awkward embrace.

"**She don't SAY a word, and she WON'T say a word, until ya--**"

Demyx and Larxene shared this one, "**KISS the GIRL!**"

Everyone involved with the song started to woot, whoop, and "Yee-haw!" at this point, while Demyx, smiling and a little bit of giggling, sang along with Larxene, "**Sha la la la la la!**"

"**Don't be SCARED.**"

"**(La la la... la la)**" La'd Xaldin and Axel.

"**You've got the MOOD prepared, go on and—**"

"**KISS the girl!**"

"**WHOA, WHOA**!" Umf'd Xaldin and Axel, setting the mood EVEN BETTER!

And, to the 'kiss the girl' part, Xigbar started to use space to make it match with the song.

"N- No!"

"What are you doing, you fool!"

"S- stop! Number IX, number XII, or number II! WhomEVER is the one behind this! PLEASE! You can't--"

Even though they are nobodies, and don't have hearts, if they DID have hearts, they would be scared out of their minds. But they did become nobodies for a reason, and through pure will, stopped the movement on their heads to prevent the BIG SMOOCH! But, its more involves physical strength along with will to make it work, so the constant pressure against the back of their skulls pushed their faces ever closer to each other. Shaking, they tried to prevent this.

"**Sha la la la la la!**"

"**Don't stop now!**" Demyx waggled a finger at them.

"**Don't try to hide it, how!**" Larxene shook her head slightly and scrunched her shoulders.

"**You wanna KISS the girl!**" Both the singers and the musicians sung this part.

"Umf..." Marluxia struggled.

"Guuhh... no..." Vexen did the same. Xigbar added just a liiittle bit more pressure.

"**Sha la la la la la!**"

"**Float aLONG!**"

"**Listen to the SONG!**"

"**The song say...**"

"**KISS THE GIRL!**"

"**Whoa, WHOA!**"

"Stop this!!" Vexen pleaded again. Xigbar added even more pressure.

"**Music PLAY!**"

"**Do what the music SAY!**"

"**You wanna KISS the giirrrll!**"

"**Whoa-- WHOA!**" Axel and Xaldin umf'd again. The mood was ALMOST right... it was just missing... a certain something...

Xaldin and Axel started to "La la" while Demyx and Larxene sang, "**You gotta... kiss the girl...**" more softly this time. The mood was setting in.

The two were groaning under the pressure Xigbar was adding. Little by little, the two inched towards each other's faces.

But there was a lot of support from the band. "**Kiss him! Kiss him!**" was heard among them.

"**Why don't you KISS the girl...**"

Vexen and Marly were approximately 5 centimeters away from each other's noses.

"**You gotta... KISS the girl!**" The band leaned in. Demyx leaned in. This was the moment of truth. Larxene continued the song.

"**Go on and... KISS the kiss the girl!**"

"The superior will hear about thiiis--!" Marluxia shouted in last futile attempt to prevent this the situation from escalating to more awkward measures. At the same time, Vexen shouted something else, something about respect... something or rather...

And this was the moment Xigbar, (of course by Demyx's will) was waiting for. Xigbar was number II for a reason-- he had a strong will. Of course, so did everyone here at the castle that never was, but he had a stronger one-- much stronger.

And when the two opened their mouths to scream their death cries, he forced them on to each other... with the sharp and heavy sound of teeth colliding, and muffled, "WTF?!"'s, the "Kiss the girl" song... was complete.

Axel, Xaldin, Xigbar, and Larxene were released from their trance, and awoke to another awkward scene that would have weirded them the hell out, had they not already witnessed the Superior, and their very own Number VII make out randomly in front of them. Strange looks were passed all around once more.

But out of everything, one question was brought up that no one knew the answer to, and what the hell they were talking about.

This will be added to the big book of weird stories.

"Who exactly WAS the girl?"

**_...Yes. I just went there. I support 4-11, but I know that in the back of my mind, Vexen, and even MARLY is straight. Tis all for fun, dearies. If you want to further your understanding of the song, look it up on youtube or something and find the original, and play it through. The lyrics are bolded, I do that for some reason.  
_**

**_Anyone want to recommend songs for the next one?And possibly the members to go with it?_**

**_As always,_**

**_Alena _**


	3. Loosen up my Buttons baby

A/N: When I got my first request (brought to you by AmazonTurk) she suggested, "Buttons" by the Pussycat dolls. She also said to include, "Stripping and the chairs" I did not know what she was talking about. I haven't heard that song in the longest time, and didn't even watch the music video. But when I did, I LOL'D so hard, I died. "MUST. DO THIS. SONG." was concluded.

Best if your imagination had a quick bath and is chipper and curious, and prone to show you pictures you don't usually want to see.

**Warning: Anything that was originated from, "Stripping and the chairs" cannot be a good sign, now can it?**

_Disclaimer: I'm very sorry to Square Enix and Disney for mutilating their series of Kingdom Hearts so badly. Also, the song, "Buttons" Belongs to the Pussycat dolls. _

**Chapter 3: Buttons**

As you recall back in chapter one, when poor old Mansex lost both his dignity and sanity when he was faced with a troupe of can-canning minions who seemed to loose all willpower when struck with the odd tune developed by the Melodious Nocturne himself. But you recall, a certain little chocobo head who failed to succumb to such powers.

I know, lets do a flashback! Flashbacks are ALWAYS interesting!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Axel, with the loyal accompaniment of Roxas, strolled in, Axel asking, "Yo, what's this I hear about someone being gay and someone else being okay with it?"_

_And BAM! That was it. Axel was singing-zombified. However, for some reason, Roxas was unaffected, and was appalled and shocked, backing up and slumping against the wall-that-refused-to-is._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Demyx had been curious about this. Why hadn't Roxas been affected? Everyone else had, and took little fight to get it, too.

He pondered this as he went on the Internet, he pondered this when he found a new song, and was fully prepared to use it while he finished pondering and started **plotting**.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Roxas was in the kitchen-that-isn't, eating some scrambled eggs that Larxene had made. Truthfully, Larxene sucked as a cook-- but she made some DAMN good eggs. There was some kind of a rumor going around that said it was because she was killing baby chickens, but whatever. Roxas thought they were good. No matter how... incredibly sadistic that was.

As Roxas lifted the fork to his mouth, he heard the melodic twang of a musical instrument. He put the fork down and looked around. "Demyx?" He called. There was no answer, so he went back to his eating.

Then, with a sound that shouldn't be possible on a sitar, a loud penetrating whistle made it to Roxas' ears. His person twitched, but he didn't really react. He shook his head and continued to eat.

There was a pause, one that was filled with Demyx's utter confusion and scratching of the head, but he was a persistent melodious nocturne, and he tried again. And this time, he could tell it worked:

Roxas froze, with his fork halfway in his mouth, some scrambled egg unbalanced from the shove into his mouth fell out and onto his lap. _The hell happened?_ Roxas thought. _Come on... I wanna... eat... some... eggs! Dammit! Why can't I move?_

"Score!" Demyx cheered, and ran to him. "Roxas? You ready?"

Roxas' head turned to him mechanically. "Yes..." _Ready? Ready for what?_

"Good." Demyx's mind was eased. Maybe it was just some sort of glitch. "Now... we are going to go sing..."

And... for suspenseful reasons, Demyx's voice dropped to a whisper as he told Roxas what he was to do.

_Oh HELL no!_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Axel was in the Break-room-of-non-existence-and-cake-that-are-lies, watching something Monty Python.

"Your arms off!"

"No it isn't."

"Then what's that, then?"

"...I've had worse."

"You LIE!"

Actually, I lied. Axel wasn't really watching it. He wasn't in the mood for weird British humor at the moment. He was flipping through a magazine, while listening to it, smirking whenever something witty was heard. Saix was in the room, off in his own little world, reliving the moment that he and the superior had shared. Then he would shudder. The kind of shudder that makes YOU wanna shudder. The kind of shudder that makes you wanna shudder the kind of shudder that makes OTHER PEOPLE shudder. THAT kind of shudder.

And, being in his own little world, this meant that he had unfortunately let all his guard down. This would be his downfall. There was a high-pitched sound that Axel didn't seem to hear, but Saix heard it well. Too well. He was succumbed in a matter of 5 seconds. Go on, count, I dare you.

He promptly went to do as he was told, lock all doors except one.

Axel didn't notice.

And that would be HIS downfall.

In trooped Roxas, Marluxia, Zexion, and Xemnas through the only door to escape. They all lined up side by side next to each other, Roxas in the middle. Demyx arrived after this, prancing to the corner to start the music. Saix promptly locked the last door before joining the line.

Axel still didn't notice.

Demyx began the music, knocking his palm against his sitar at the same time so as to recreate beat, synchronizing his strumming, making the music... SHIMMER.

Axel muted the movie, wondering what was going on, and turned around.

Zexion walked forward in a... for lack of a better word, "pimpish" sort of way, rapping, if you will, "**What it do, babyboo.**"

And on that cue, the rest of them strutted forward (and this doesn't sound as sexy unless you're listening to the song at the same time so go look it up on Youtube. Its more funny that way.) swinging their hips and (although easier for some then others) proving themselves rather... flexible.

"**Yeah, little mama you lookin' good**," Zexion began to rap, bobbing his head and pointing rather suggestively at Roxas, who seemed to lead this little ...uh, thing."**I see you wanna play with a player from the hood, come holla at me, you got it like that-- Big Sexy Zexy, with the lead PussyCAT." **

Axel stared, "The hell? Guys, are you sick or something?" But it started to get a little awkward when Roxas started to do a suggestive... rubbing, on the slightly taller nobody. (I'd say Zexy's got about 2 inches on 'em)

"ROXAS?? What are you-- that's SICK, MAN!"

_Tell me about it! And I can't stop this! NOO, stop it body, stooop!_

But Roxas' physical self refused to be sueded by the mad sobbings of a very confused teenager.  
"**I show you how it go down, YEAH! I wanna go down me and you, one on one, treat you like a short-AY-- You look at me and I look at you, I'm reachin' for your shirt what you want me to do?" **Zexion completed his rap, making a completely unneeded, but totally necessary grab movement towards Roxas' coat.

"**I'm tellin' ya to--**" In response to Zexion's solo, Roxas, along with his background singers, ripped their coats off, showing in full view, quite a bit of flesh, and a bikini top. "**LOOSEN up mah buttons BABEH!**"

"GERFLUF!!" Was the basic sound Axel made when this flash happened, and the magazine went flying while Axel didn't make such a graceful arc. His ass went straight for the coffee table as he unintentionally tipped backwards in a strange concoction of disgust and confusion.

But the song wasn't stopping for a long time now... "**Uh-huh.**" Was the backup being sung-- everyone nodding to the beat, Xemnas and Saix started rubbing on each other, in a vaguely interesting way to prove how sexy the other was.

"**But you keep FRONTIN'!**" Roxas uttered, flexing his spinal cord in a way no nobody thought possible.

"**Uh.**" The rest of them grunted, copying his gymnastic moves... or... whorish, really, but I'm trying to be poetic here, give me a chance.

"**Saying what you gon' do to me**" Roxas made a suggestive stride across his cross-dressing chest with his hand.

"**Uh-huh**" Marluxia bent down close to Roxas like he was about to kiss his neck, but didn't, while Roxas turned his head to the side flirtatiously. _Noooo, get away from Marluxia! You're no gay man-whore!... I'M no gay man-whore!_

"**But I ain't seen nothing.**"

"**Uh!**"The rest of them responded by a longer moan, turning respectively to their partner and arching his back at him. Zexion wasn't really needed around this point in time, so he just stood off to the side with Demyx in a daze. So, accordingly, Xemnas and Saix did their thing while Roxas got it on with Marluxia. (Oh the pairings that could erupt from this.)

Axel shielded his eyes, "This isn't RIGHT! Roxas! Marluxia, get away from him! Superior! What the-- SAIX??"

Then they promptly stopped their gay shenanigans, turned towards the frightened and disturbed red-head, and started to walk. Like one of those models on a Victoria Secret catwalk.

"**I'm telling ya to loosen up mah buttons baby.**" Roxas sang.

"**Uh-huh**." Everyone else sounded, waving their hips around to show off their junk.

"**But you keep frontin'**"

"**Uhh...**" The slutty singers suddenly stopped and did a slide, flipping their long and short hair, while curving out themselves so their rib-cages and their couldn't be man-boobs could be the center of attention.

"**Saying what you gon' do to me...**" Then they stopped and posed: each just as slutty if not slutti**er** then the other. "**But I seen nothin**'"

"**Uh**!"

"**Typical**," Roxas sung his solo, running his hand across his neck, "**Hardly the type I fall ****FO**'..."  
The song slowed a bit, and they stepped towards Axel seductively, as he packed himself up against the TV, while Roxas and all his possessed glory reached for him with a single finger, singin', "**I like when the physical, don't leave me askin' fo' mo'**!"

Then he struck a pose, running his hands down his chest, going, "**I'm a sexy mama**!" He declared.  
"**Mama**!" Xemnas and Saix echoed.

"**Who knows just how to get what I wanna!**" Roxas closed his eyes and tilted his head up.

"**Wanna**!" Zexion and Marluxia called out.

"**What I wanna do is spring this on ya**!" Roxas sang, swinging his hips exaggeratedly.

"**On ya**!" Xemnas and Saix repeated, copying his forward movements.

"**Back up all of the things I told ya!**" Roxas moaned, while in the background the rest of them whispered in chorus, "**Told ya, told ya, told ya**!"

Demyx grinned happily, strumming his sitar and beating the side of it with his fist, swaying and nodding his head to the beat. Axel pressed himself against the TV, confused, horrified, but mostly confused. Why, was his thoughts, and why this song?

Roxas stepped towards him again, singing, "**You been sayin' all the right things, all night long! But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off!**" And on cue, him and everyone else unzipped their coats all the way and brandished their chests.

"**Baby can't you SEE?**" He felt up his coat before chucking it to the side.

"**See?**" The rest echoed, throwing their coats at Axel like roses.

"**How these clothes are fittin' on me?**" Roxas unzipped his pants.

"**Me!**" Saix repeated. The rest undid their bikini strings.

"**And the heat comin' from this beat!**" Roxas waggled in his underwear while inner Roxas slammed his head repeatedly against the wall in his mind.

**"Beat!**" Xemnas and Zexion felt up their new-found nakedness in attempt to impress Axel.

Axel felt himself throw up a little in his mouth.  
They moaned harder and sang, "**I'm about to bloooow, I don't think you know!**"

The repeated the whole charade a second time, singing about how "I'm tellin' you to loosen up mah buttons babeh!" and "Sayin' what you gon' do ta me!" and speaking about how much they wished Axel would put them to bed... Axel tried to subtly go around them and sneak out the doors. However, with Saix locking them up like that, it slowed him down tragically and soon, they were upon him.

Several things had happened at once. It could've been that Xemnas wasn't as graceful as his current character had to be, or it could've been that that wide sweeping arc he managed to do with his leg was simply just _too_ graceful. Another thing that happened was that someone had placed a table in his way. A third thing was that that table had on it several pounds of glitter on it. In a nice little bowl; for a project that was unknown at the moment. Well, because of-- wait that was... that was one thing... okay, because of Xemnas and his ridiculous stripper-esque action, those several pounds of glitter flew into the air, and somehow managed to hang in air and fall down in waves... much like snow. If it had been a better moment, one would gaze upon it in awe and sigh, "Pretty...!"

"**You say you're a big boy! But I can't agree...**" Roxas felt up his chest and shook his head sadly, sending glitter that had fallen into his hair to swarm up in small glittery clouds, "**Cause the love you said you had ain't been put on me**!"

"**But I wonder!**" Marluxia said behind him.

"**Wonder!**" The rest echoed, while Roxas did his show.

"**If I'm just too much for yooou!**" Saix moaned.

Axel scrambled for escape, but only managed to slip on a pretty large pile of glitter, and sent up more sparkles into the air.

"**Wonder!**" Xemnas twirled and immersed himself in the shiny.

"**Wonder!**" Zexion emphasized.

"**If my kiss don't make you just..**." Roxas touched his lips lustfully for a second, biting it and looking at Axel suggestively, while Axel scrambled against the repressive special effects.

"**Wonder...**" Marluxia whispered

"**Wonder!**" Xemnas and Saix cooed in unison.

"**What I got next for YOU!**" Roxas gasped, and grabbed a chair, singing, "**What you wanna DO?**"

"**Do**!" The rest followed his example.

"**Take a chance-- to recognize**," Roxas pointed to himself by rubbing a hand against his chest sexually, placing a leg high on the chair, before twirling, and sitting, "**that this...**"

"**Could be yours**!" They all sang in unison.  
Axel had finally gotten to his feet, having been thoroughly shaken by his fall by the glitter, which had finally settled in large clumps on the floor, and the passing contact the four of them had given him while attempting to get him to become aroused. All Axel felt was sick. What the hell was this anyway? Why is this happening? Was it Demyx's fault? Why was he just sitting there playing his damned sitar! This sucks! He couldn't get away. What was this supposed to mean? He had to wait it out to the end of the song? Who knew how long THAT was gonna take! "Guys!" He pleaded, "Snap out of it! Don't you know what the hell you're doing?"

But they had merely ignored him, continuing their metaphors of sex with games and how they'd like to just take all their clothes off and how hot they were becoming because of how sexy the whole thing was. Speaking about "**heat**" and "**loosening up**" more "**buttons**" and how Axel was doing a terrible job of trying to sex them up. They danced around their chairs, stood on them, straddled them, did a bit of dry humping if you looked close enough. They shook their money-makers and showed off their stuff. The chair, as useful as it was for sitting, had found itself a whole new purpose.

And Zexion, who had stood quiet for a fair bit of time, finally began to move with renewed vigor, leaning against Axel, with a hand attempted to go around his shoulder as he rapped, "**Now you can get what you want, but I need what I need!**" He pointed at the dancing girly-men, then put his hand on Axel, "**And let me tell you what's crackalackin' befo' I proceed!**"

They had all gone back to the whole cat-walk strutting towards him, wagging their hips and wriggling around, while Zexion used his weight to bend Axel to his will, whispering, "**Imma show you were to put it at! PCD told me, yeah, I thought I saw a Putty-cat!**" Zexion's hand went to Roxas cheek, and Axel could only witness horrified, "**Now roll wit' the big dog-- All for of ya'll on me, now tell me how it feel babydoll-- Roxy, Saix, Xemnas, Marluxia-- you feelin' me?**" He bent Axel's head down, while the rest of them burst into strange orgasms, dancing with renewed vigor.

"**Huh- huuh-- hot**!" Roxas hissed. "**Ha... haaa... loosen up!**"

"**Mn... yeah!**" Saix and Xemnas dirty-danced each other in the background, breathing ragged.

"**Uhhh-- can't take this!**"

And then, thank God, there was no more singing; at least, for a little bit. There was just more dancing. They bounced, waggled and shook. They pelvic-thrusted and threw their arms in large exaggerated motions. They did hair-flips, they shook their whole bodies. Axel just managed to get out of Zexion's grasp, only to be met with tackling fan-service and naked body contact. Then they sang again, singing about how he should just rip their clothes off, which Axel obviously did not want to do.

Roxas, while still being himself in his own body, was dealing with trauma, and was crying to himself. _Why isn't this over yet?_

And, finally granting his wish, the music stopped shimmering, Demyx stopped humming and smiling to himself, and stood up. Once they had sung "**But I seen nothin'!**" The song... was complete.

But before the song was officially complete, apparently, Roxas' body couldn't take the strain anymore, and reached out, mouth open, at Axel, but had slipped, terribly, awfully, conveniently, over a mound of glitter, and Roxas missed by about a few feet. Luckily, he managed to actually hit Axel instead of the hard, cold, unforgivably shiny floor. But what he did hit, was not something a lot of people would like to hit.

But that was not to be noticed yet. Because, once out of their cold, cold trance, the first thing these men noticed was that there was, for some reason, a whole lot of glitter everywhere. The second thing they noticed was that there was a terrible draft.

There was silence. Then a strangled gurgle, and finally a full-grown scream of utter confusion, and finally hysteria, in which everyone flew in all direction, yelling, confused, general utter chaos.

Roxas, however, didn't burst into hysteria. While his best friend whimpered in a corner curled into a ball, having had a head butt to the crotch, Roxas cried.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

...now that I think about it, I'm sorry for that mental image. Very very sorry. So... here we are. Finally updated something. Very sorry... hopefully this has broken my horrible streak of non-activeness.

As Always,

Alena


End file.
